I never did fit into the “young women in ministry” or “Christian influencer” social media mould. I’m ok with this now; however, I remember back in 2012-2015, this used to really bother me. I desperately wanted to be acknowledged as a women’s minister/preacher (by the wider Body of Christ); however, all Abba ever led me to do was non-ministry/secular work and I was only ever acknowledged as that “athlete/fitness person” who loves talking about Jesus. It sounds so silly writing it out like this—I’m glad my love for Jesus was always acknowledged—but I think in my mind I wanted my occupation/career (for lack of better words) to be seen as “minister/preacher”; whereas, I was always seen as an athlete/fitness person.
Accepting Myself as a Fitness Influencer
The reason I am even writing this post is because over the past month Abba has opened my eyes to see the internal battle that I've been having with accepting myself as a “fitness influencer”. If you’ve read any of my blogs or watched my testimony on YouTube, then you’ll know a bit about the process Abba has taken me through, particularly in the past 7 years. In December, I shared about how Abba brought me to the place of accepting my 3-part mandate (both the kingship and priesthood aspects of these) and accepting that I am going through 3 distinct processes accordingly.
Well, during the month of March, I really felt a lot of emphasis with regards to bringing the fitness aspect of my business to YouTube. Now, don’t get me wrong, I really love the creative process of YouTube and I acknowledge the desire Abba has placed in my heart over the past year to want to do YouTube properly. However, somehow, I can sense a bit of apprehension in my flesh with regards to introducing “fitness” to my personal channel. To be honest, being a fitness influencer is not something I ever foresaw for myself. I know this probably sounds ridiculous considering most people have viewed fitness as my niche for pretty much my whole life (and the fact that 5 years ago I did create some fitness videos on YouTube that have now been taken down); yet, somehow, I still didn’t see me doing fitness on YouTube as a thing. In addition to this, when I look at the marketplace/business process Abba has taken me through, it seems apparent that fitness is very much a part of the vocation that He has been raising me up for… so what gives?
…Again, it is this concept of not fitting the mould.
Firstly, when I look at other female ministers on YouTube (or social media in general), I just don’t fit the mould. Fitness itself is not an exclusively “Christian” thing. It is secular—as is athletics (which I am also called to)—but I will stick to speaking about fitness today). As a fivefold minister, I was firstly sensing the enemy attacking me with apprehension in the area of “what will the church think?” Like, how could I be saying I am a minister in one breath, but then be dedicating my personal channel to fitness? Shouldn't all my videos be preaching/teaching (especially during this season with the Coronavirus)? However, Abba helped me here because He reminded me that Pura*T International and Believers on Track are my ministries for fivefold ministers and Christian athletes (respectively), where I can post the teachings/sermons that He gives me in that regard.
Secondly, I was experiencing a bit of apprehension towards beginning to create fitness content on YouTube because when I look at other successful female fitness influencers, I can see that my channel is going to be so different from the norm. From the world’s perspective, in order to be successful in this niche, you have to show your body, show yourself “sexy” (take seductive/provocative photos) and don’t EVER speak about Jesus. Well… I won’t be showing off my body, I won’t be taking seductive photos and I will be talking about Jesus on my channel (because He is my life)... Mate. So, you can see my point.
I’m really praying that Abba deals with me (and I know He will). I know I will experience breakthrough simply by being obedient. As I step out and do this, that last residue of caring what others think will be eliminated. Yes, Abba has called me to do things a little bit differently, but I have to trust Him that He knows exactly what He’s doing. He hasn’t brought me this far to leave me now.
Abba, I commit my channel and this new direction to You. Thank You for the gifts You have given me and the journey You have taken me through to get to this point. I pray that You would help me to let my light shine in this industry so that You may be glorified. Abba, I pray that many would come to know You through this channel. Abba, I pray that many would be encouraged in their faith and fitness through this channel. Papa, I ask that You grow my channel... Abba, though there is a way the world does things, Lord, I pray that as I commit to simply being obedient and uncompromising (#ObedienceOverAppearance), that You would do exceedingly, abundantly above what I could ask, think or imagine. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen. Xx
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I look forward to connecting with you online and in person!
In His love always.
Torema xXx